Insane Shit
Some shit's a bit wack, and some shit's plain crazy, but some shit is just insane..
Still, at least it's not only certifiable, but classifiable.
We no longer classify any Fine News Sources here, but they should be borne in mind.
Artefacts
Note that most or all of these insane artefacts have insane people attached, but we only classify them here.
- Coral Castle
- Xanad U
- http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Masakichi.html (which is the sculpture and which is the sculptor?)
- Foodstuffs resembling objects of religious veneration
- Foodstuffs resembling celebrated fictional characters
- Inedible artefacts treated as foodstuffs
- ...And vice versa
- Escapology by Gluttony?
- Foodstuffs with lethal combat skills
- Darwin Fish - that is to say, Jesus 'fish signs' with legs on, and the word 'DARWIN' contained within the outline. There is a New York Times.com article on this, if anyone can be a!!!!d to register with the site, but I can vouch from experience that they do exist, either as an atheist's protest against the whole evangelical culture in the US (see GreaterThings, below) or as a symbol of the coexistence of religion and science, prescribed by Einstein himself --TL I have one of these stuck to the side of my old computer; it was procured by Tanaqui in the USA, i think. I stuck it on shortly before going to stay for a few weeks, with my computer, at the house of a devoutly christian family; my sense of timing is once again world-class. -- TA Believe it or not, there is a Cthulhu version of it on sale from the same website that sells Plush Cthulhu s...--TL the site's here: <http://www.darwinfish.com> I had a button with the word "gefilte" written in mock-Hebrew script inside the fish--SDN
- Not the food, but the sales tactics: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3523303.stm>
- <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2785397.stm> We know the church has got into some moral hot water in the past for merchandising of pardons and holy relics, but imagine having your own Archbishop of Canterbury... -- WJR
- Wet Nikes! <http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/02/24/offbeat.soggy.shoes.ap/index.html>
- The Nation States Game- thank you Matt Piatkus. <http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi>
- Oxfam have a warehouse, in Worcester, where they send all the second-hand books that they can't sell in their bookshops.
- We know where you live. <http://www.bbc.co.uk/england/webcams/regions/oxford/oxford_webcam_index.shtml>
- A text-only version of the above web-cam - why have a text-only link on such a page? <http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-bin/education/betsie/parser.pl/0005/www.bbc.co.uk/england/webcams/pop_ups/city_views/oxford_carfax_tower_university_city_webcam.html>
- Toast(er) Art Gallery http://www.toaster.org/art.html
- Warning: do not do this at home. <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2826587.stm>
- Laptop and User sharing same fuel? <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2847679.stm>
- "Fuel cells which use chemistry to generate electrical power by breaking down substances such as hydrogen..." - woot! Oh, unless they mean the molecules...
- Special experimental versions of google: <google:allinurl:www.google.com/intl/xx>; includes haxx0rish, Swedish chef, Klingon ... Pause to appreciate the irony of using google to list these.
- Peas In Spaaace! <http://science.nasa.gov/ppod/y2003/24apr_greengenerations.htm> Those damn commies and their space-vegetables!
- Star Spangled Ice Cream. http://www.starspangledicecream.com/ Nutters. I'm not sure if this is people, ideas or artefacts, but I figured I'd let someone else work it out! ;-) --DM It's like G&Ds for the Republican Party... a contradiction in terms. Ice cream... fascists... ice cream... fascists... oh, wait, Italy. :~) -- WJR Now I want to emigrate, stat--SDN
- http://news.com.com/2100-1041_3-999509.html Are there no depths to which the evil empires will not sink?? The worst of it is: IT WAS A HOAX (see Slashdot, 13/5/2003, and <http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2003/05/12/financial0014EDT0002.DTL>). D'oh. --TL <http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,58836,00.html/wn_ascii> Gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. -- AM Either the iLoo is a hoax or the universe is a hoax. I have more faith in the iLoo. -- WJR <http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/30686.html> And, frankly, it'd be much easier for a Linux advocate to quietly disable the thing than on other Windows boxes. Nothing technical - drawing a penguin on the touchpad in one's own fecal matter should do the trick. - AM Thank you Archie, that we really didn't need to know. -- WJR Let's not think of the webcam possibilities here -- SDN
- Sorry to break the flow, but another good reason not to trust anything from Micro Soft which is just too good to be true: <http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/33507.html>
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3028931.stm These sandals are made for worshippin'? -- WJR
- Loonie Aussie Builds Cruise Missile Shocker! <http://www.interestingprojects.com/cruisemissile/>
- Insane Viking s!!t. <http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/news/story/0,11711,972060,00.html>
- Tetris - fourteen storeys high! <http://bastilleweb.techhouse.org/>
- Stan Lee and Pamela Anderson - Together At Last! - in 'Stripperella': <http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-11414/>, <http://www.newsarama.com/Stripperella.htm>, <http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=2071>; four episodes made, more unlikely to follow.
- http://www.ooblick.com/text/tomordor/ - Yahoo Maps reach the places other maps cannot!
- The Rez Trance Vibrator
- This probably goes here as well as anywhere: http://www.artofresistance.org/bush_mosaic/
- The Segway Human Transporter and all its works. Or not. Oh yes...
- Whose idea was this?? <http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/10/09/offbeat.butter.shoes.reut/index.html>
- A (fake) dog called Norfolk: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/3213403.stm>
- AT&T's anti-anti-spam device: <http://slashdot.org/articles/03/11/16/0532225.shtml?tid=111&tid=126&tid=155&tid=99>
- All-singing-all-dancing-Saddams, all-singing-all-dancing-Osamas! <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3241202.stm>
- Sort of crossover between this and Ideas/Theories. But wristwatch-sized Blue Screens of Death? It can only be Micro Soft... <http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/35041.html>
- We now know that somewhere in Staffordshire there is a lavatory of mass destruction... <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/staffordshire/3457965.stm>
People
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2668951.stm (naked justice!) <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/2979673.stm> the shirts off shoppers' backs?
- http://www.rael.org
- (similar) http://web.archive.org/web/20161113191625/http://greaterthings.com/
- it is fair to include this here? http://www.christiananswers.net/ --DM
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2807777.stm Wha-at??
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2433563.stm (the legendary Meinhof Brain Terror?; this is a part of a person, so it counts)
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2713577.stm Not the seller, but that someone would buy it for that price... the mind boggles and runs away.
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2714739.stm (back for one last role... unfortunately posthumously...) That is just sick. The story, not the comment, I mean. :)-- WJR
- http://www.jdawiseman.com/ (he's clearly fairly insane - he goes from "Various non-intuitive features of electoral systems" to "A map of Jet Set Willy? II, the classic ZX Spectrum? platform game" without pausing for breath) Oookay, but I suppose game theory applies in both cases - the site does seem to be the collation of an applied mathmo's career --TL
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2718389.stm I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren't there... and clambering about on the furniture. Loons! -- WJR Not entirely unlike Le Parkour.
- http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/02/04/offbeat.cialis.reut/index.html (Pity this poor chap, and think how many others there must be with branded surnames...)
- Anatomical fetishists (do NOT show this to Tim): http://www.cameltoe.org/
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2739211.stm All right, stand up the person who showed him Passport to Pimlico! -- WJR
- It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing... oh yeah... <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/2758659.stm>!
- The Force is with us (mind that there lightsabre...): <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2757067.stm>
- Hardly a shining example of Eurocracy: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2793845.stm>
- Dial 666 for Satan...err, not quite. <http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/South/03/01/offbeat.ky.prefix.ap/index.html>
- This is worse than insane, it's plain dumb. Especially the 'up to a year in prison' bit... <http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/03/04/iraq.usa.shirt.reut/index.html>
- Meanwhile, some wicked satire (as recommended by G2): <http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war.html>
- Now this is what I call Insane S!!t. <http://www.gettingit.com/article/284>
- David Icke <http://www.disinfo.com/pages/dossier/id330/pg1/>
- Poohsticks for the next Olympic sport! <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2853091.stm>
- Von Daniken Land (TM)! <http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915242,00.html>
- A rather extreme reaction to the recent smoking ban: <http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/04/22/offbeat.manbite.reut/index.html>
- The Ministry for the Prevention of Absurdity? How meta can you get? <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3003633.stm>
- Speaking of which: <http://edition.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/05/06/britain.sahaf/index.html>
- Hijol (beam me up), Scotty: <http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/West/05/10/offbeat.klingon.interpreter/index.html>
- A telephone for talking to God? Erm, no <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2942408.stm>
- Arm-wrestling Freud: <http://www.matazone.co.uk/arm_wrestling_freud.html>
- The man being sued by McDonalds for insulting their food: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/2951486.stm>
- Double-Plus-Ungood! <http://www.wiretapmag.org/story.html?StoryID=16151>
- Inspector Sands is in the house! <http://www.b3ta.com/board/4/8/1/2/9/3>
- Preacher asks for 'sign', God sets fire to church. (!)<http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3044178.stm>
- Is it a bird, a plane or some madman in a suit? No, it's a guardian angle-grinder! <http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/09/18/offbeat.angle.grinder.reut/index.html>
- From white witch to Management Consultant. Which is the more demented profession? <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3203687.stm>
- <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3268161.stm> speaks for itself.
- <http://www.theomahachannel.com/news/2640629/detail.html> (thanks Atrios): Super-Gran?
- Don Rumsfeld gets his just deserts: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3254852.stm>
- Long ago in a galaxy far away: <http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20040118/pl_nm/space_weapons_dc>
- There are few occasions on which SF fans can, with a clear conscience, look at the wackinesses of others and say "How sad." America Land (apologies, SDN and TL) provides most of these. <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3451207.stm>
Animal Madness
We should probably file this under Insane Animal Shit?.
- http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html
- Not dissimilar: the Badger From Hell <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/3027681.stm>
- and: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3166010.stm
- http://www.coinbird.com/
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2541761.stm (Insane Animal Poetry Shit?)
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/2509455.stm (plastic ducks, but ducks nonetheless)
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2696725.stm (another very good reason to avoid eating cheese, LP) "Transgenic"? As the Third Doctor (obDoctorWho) might put it, "What a pretty euphemism." -- WJR
- http://www.monkeyheaven.com/ ('Monkey Swallows The Universe' {ep 4, ser 1}??? Insanity...)
- Basketball with donkeys, in California: witnessed on <http://www.sfgate.com>'s 'in pictures' page - a charity sport for Farmers of America wherein each human basketballer had to keep hold of the animal's reins at all times, and get on the donkey's back in order to shoot... very odd. --TL
- Meow! <http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/02/23/offbeat.feline.pride.ap/index.html>
- Love is in the air... <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2834025.stm> Hell Hath no Fury like an Ostrich Scorned
- And you are the bomb-men, and I Am The Walrus, googoo g'joob... (not quite) <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/2839155.stm> What's more worrying is the idea of Operation Kuwaiti Fried Chicken... I wonder how much of this is made up... Still, the Reg treated it with their usual humour: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/29707.html
- Prophetic carp?? I kid you not: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2854189.stm> <http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,915125,00.html>
- Say 'aah'. <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3037563.stm>
- Another contender for the great tortoise race? <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/2949978.stm>
- The Hello Kitty Vibrator
- The next James Baa-nd?? <http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-879847,00.html>
- Aww! <http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/science/story/0,12996,1143695,00.html>
- Mice In Spaaace, according to the Telegraph (or Slashdot).
Ideas, Theories, &c
- Papa Smurf Is A Communist
- The whole continuing approach of the virtual world to the real world (as evidenced by <http://news.independent.co.uk/digital/features/story.jsp?story=353809>) is disturbing, if not really insane
- That everyone's out to get Andrew Malcolm <http://www.geocities.com/mjsayers/BORDERS_ON_THE_INSANE> . At least, that's what he's been telling us... paranoia or truth?? Apparently he is getting his revenge: he proposes to stand for the Chancellorship of the University. Now that's insane...
- That the End of the World Is Nigh (according to particular evangelicals...) What's particularly insane is how many people are being sucked in by this nonsense <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2670591.stm>
- The possibility of a new generation of mobile phones designed to send 'touch'. <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2677813.stm> "Hello, I'm on the train!" rattle bump thud explosion Personally, I think that will have to wait until such time as they get Neural Relay Computing sorted out --TL Well, such racket normally transmits quite well by the customary audio medium of 'phones anyway. Neural Relay Computing 'phones would be a trifle scary- much like a technological version of the 'newsgroups by telepathic gestalt' system. (Yay for psychic-flame wars!) -- WJR
- The London Riot Re-enactment Society: <http://c8.com/anathematician/lrrs.htm> ((Sealed Knot with Molotov cocktails on the side, perhaps?)
- The American social security department is really the Antichrist in disguise: knowing the number of times my family has been asked for the bloody social security number since moving Stateside (apart from Dad, none of us can get one till we acquire 'Resident Alien' status, boom boom), not quite so insane <http://web.archive.org/web/20160307221503/http://www.greaterthings.com/Word-Number/666/42USC_sec666.htm> --TL.
- Hooking Evil Dictators To The Matrix --TL Thereby risking the eventual return of Saddam Hussein... with WireFu fighting skills. Ulp. -- WJR
- That footie boots are made from kangaroo skin: <http://savethekangaroo.com> You'll laugh. You'll boggle. You may even end up booing Beckham...
- http://www.aquamega.biz/products/ShockerBottle/special030203.htm (I thought they gave up on the idea of the existence of the ether moons ago...!! --TL)
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2784227.stm Synthetic trees for photosynthesis? All right, maybe this could have its uses in urban areas, but I can't help feeling that not cutting down the real ones in the first place would be a more sensible, long term solution. --WJR
- Metric Time
- Swatch Time: <http://amsterdam.nettime.org/Lists-Archives/nettime-l-9812/msg00036.html> The more I read that article the more confusing it got... --TL
- According to <doi:10.1016/S0014-5793(03)00046-2>, a human hand is ten thousand times more powerful than the sun, at least once you've adjusted for their relative mass.
- The International Flat Earth Society : <http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/flatearth.html>
- That Thomas the Tank Engine is too frightening for children: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2838705.stm> Well, that's one psychologist with too much time on his hands...
- So, France gets called a nation of "Cheese-eating Surrender Monkeys", and the Daleks get a day in their honour? Nice to know the Republicans in the USA have got their diplomatic priorities straight: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2841455.stm>
- <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/2847557.stm> I have no comment to make.
- Circle Line Party!
- <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/2972391.stm> Doppelgangers of mass destruction...?
- <http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=15814> It's the Rapture! Don't bother to recycle anything!! (sheesh)
- This courtesy of someone from the Doc Soc: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3021255.stm No, please don't do that to my planet. -- WJR
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1124312.stm Great Scott, The Transformers. -- WJR
- Tumbleweed flies by: <http://www.nasa.gov/vision/extend/mars_tumbleweed.html>
- The vital importance of not being David Nelson: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2995288.stm>
- Not just that anyone might buy stuff off of the US military, but that the latter was willing to flog it to any old Tom, Dick or Osama: <http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/55/33289.html>
- Thank goodness the perpetrators of this bit of lunacy have now calmed down (the plaintiffs, that is): <http://yro.slashdot.org/yro/03/10/09/2211259.shtml?tid=93>
- Good God, The Matrix. Almost. <http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=16985> --TL
- Mrs Jesus?? <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/3229829.stm>
- World Toilet Day? (Wed 19 Nov 2003)! <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3276171.stm>
- Not so much the crime as the perpetrator - Gor lives? <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3293447.stm>
- Scattered showers of strikeouts, innings expected later: <http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3415863.stm> (sorry, this is a slightly TL joke)