Music Videos

I waste far too much time watching TMF on the telly. Just in the background while doing important internet surfing in the living room, but it still makes its way into my peripheral vision. As a result, i am now a connoisseur of music videos, and here are some of my thoughts, loosely categorised.

Science Fiction

From Paris to Berlin - Infernal

A solid piece of gormless eurotrash clubology, whose video is the best homage to Tron since that fat guy's suit. With bonus eight-bit video game characters! Andy likes it because it's got lots of naked men with fluorescent semen dripping off them.

Sister Siam - The Whip

The video is basically a particularly big-budget episode of Red Dwarf.

Flux - Bloc Party

Problem: you have a storming techno-rock monster of a hit, and it needs a video. Solution: DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!

Niton - Eric Prydz

Someone's been playing too much Rez. Underworld did a track actually called Rez, but the video is nothing like Rez. Hey, this is the science fiction section; Rez isn't science fiction, it's a video game. All video games are science fiction. What? How does that work? Don't ask me, man, i didn't do it.

Lost in Space '98 - Space Frog

Excellent, committed, entry in the low-budget sci-fi action-in-an-abandoned building genre. Amazing work for 1998.

Visual Cleverness

Wearing My Rolex - Wiley

Urban foxes, innit.

Star Guitar - Chemical Brothers, dir Michel Gondry

A classic, cleverly matching repetitive elements of the landscape seen from a speeding train to the repetitive elements of the music (which, this being the Chemicals, there are a lot of). See also the making of - someone really ought to sample him whispering numbers at the start.

Smack My Bitch Up - The Prodigy

Ooh, the twist! Do you see what they did there? There's a brilliant video mashup of this with Gwen Stefani's What You Waiting For somewhere out there too.

Toe Jam - The BPA feat David Byrne & Dizzee Rascal

Taking the negative space approach to censorship.

Virtual Insanity - Jamiroquai, dir Jonathan Glazer

Doug quite rightly pointed out that this is a classic video. It's all done with a moving room.

General Madness

Brighter Than The Sun - Tiamat (NB - the actual song is not very good, so this video is soundtracked by Smack Up The Orinoco Flow)

Bullfighting a truck!

Pork and Beans - Weezer

I literally wept tears of joy when i saw this. A good, honest, old-school indie punk song about not fitting in, and a video comprising a lovingly-crafted mashup of the greatest moments in internet history. Triumphant.

Sabotage - The Beastie Boys

Almost everything could be improved by being a 70s cop show pastiche. Except this video, because it already is.

Body Movin' - The Beastie Boys

Another hyperkinetic Beasties video which has absolutely no relation to the track. With a ninja!

Come to Daddy - Aphex Twin

The Aphex Twin: terrifying old ladies since 1971.

Scientists!

There are a surprising number of videos, particularly for dance music, that feature scientists. It's second only to scantily-clad women as a theme. Due to statistics, sometimes the scientists are also scantily-clad women.

Where's Your Head At - Basement Jaxx

For a video which features neither the Aphex Twin nor Christopher Walken, this is pretty fucking frightening. Also, if it's monkeys you want, then, see Jamie T's Sheila; this song can also supply all your Bob Hoskings needs.

Make A Move on Me - Joey Negro

A suprisingly lifelike portrayal of life in a research lab.

Gratuitous Flesh

The alert reader will notice that this is by far the biggest section. This is not because i'm a pervert, it merely refects the deplorable tendencies of music video directors, which i in no way condone.

Actually, it's not even the biggest section. I guess i'm not as much of a pervert as i thought. I suck.

Biology - Girls Aloud

This doesn't actually contain a great deal of flesh, but i wasn't sure what section to put it in otherwise. This video, with its hyper-intense makeup, endless changes of painstakingly-designed and -coordinated sets and outfits, and choreography that would make a regimental sergeant-major weep, is a spot-on visual expression of the GA aesthetic: homogenous perfection to the point of unreality. Like a machine. A sexy machine. On which note, see also this terrifying machinima version (NB robot Nicola would get it).

Perfect Exceeder - Mason vs Princess Superstar

Yeah, no real comment about this one. But at least i'm not including Call On Me on this list.

Call On Me - Eric Prydz

I lied.

Hustler - Simian Mobile Disco

Great tune, video featuring a variant of Chinese Whispers that doesn't get played at the kind of parties i get invited to, sadly.

Keep on Jumpin' - Corenell feat Lisa Marie Experience

Two teams of hot women playing football in their underwear. In mud. In slow motion. I'm not even going to try and justify this on anything other than pornographic grounds. Now that's what i call a score draw! Although in the video it's not a draw.

Wildly Overrated Videos

Da Funk - Daft Punk

Seriously, what's good about this video? Nothing. And yet apparently it's considered a classic. Bonus fact: Charles should totally get together with the chick from the Another Chance video.