I waste far too much time watching TMF on the telly. Just in
the background while doing important internet surfing in the living
room, but it still makes its way into my peripheral vision. As a result,
i am now a connoisseur of music videos, and here are some of my
thoughts, loosely categorised.
- From Paris to
Berlin - Infernal
- A solid piece of gormless eurotrash clubology, whose video is the
best homage to Tron since that fat guy's suit. With bonus eight-bit
video game characters! Andy likes it because it's got lots of naked men
with fluorescent semen dripping off them.
- Sister Siam
- The Whip
- The video is basically a particularly big-budget episode of Red
- Flux -
- Problem: you have a storming techno-rock monster of a hit, and it
needs a video. Solution: DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!
- Niton - Eric Prydz
- Someone's been playing too much Rez. Underworld did a track actually
called Rez, but the video is nothing like Rez. Hey, this is the science
fiction section; Rez isn't science fiction, it's a video game. All video games are science fiction. What? How does that
work? Don't ask me, man, i didn't do it.
- Lost in Space '98 - Space Frog
- Excellent, committed, entry in the low-budget sci-fi action-in-an-abandoned building genre. Amazing work for 1998.
- Wearing My
Rolex - Wiley
- Urban foxes, innit.
- Star Guitar
- Chemical Brothers, dir Michel Gondry
- A classic, cleverly matching repetitive elements of the landscape
seen from a speeding train to the repetitive elements of the music
(which, this being the Chemicals, there are a lot of). See also the making of -
someone really ought to sample him whispering numbers at the start.
- Smack My Bitch
Up - The Prodigy
- Ooh, the twist! Do you see what they did there? There's a brilliant
video mashup of this with Gwen Stefani's What You Waiting For somewhere
out there too.
- Toe Jam -
The BPA feat David Byrne & Dizzee Rascal
- Taking the negative space approach to censorship.
Insanity - Jamiroquai, dir Jonathan Glazer
- Doug quite rightly pointed out that this is a classic video. It's
all done with a moving
- Brighter Than
The Sun - Tiamat (NB - the actual song is not very good, so this
video is soundtracked by Smack Up The Orinoco Flow)
- Bullfighting a truck!
- Pork and
Beans - Weezer
- I literally wept tears of joy when i saw this. A good, honest,
old-school indie punk song about not fitting in, and a video comprising
a lovingly-crafted mashup of the greatest moments in internet history.
- Sabotage -
The Beastie Boys
- Almost everything could be improved by being a 70s cop show
pastiche. Except this video, because it already is.
- Body Movin'
- The Beastie Boys
- Another hyperkinetic Beasties video which has absolutely no relation
to the track. With a ninja!
- Come to
Daddy - Aphex Twin
- The Aphex Twin: terrifying old ladies since 1971.
There are a surprising number of videos, particularly for dance
music, that feature scientists. It's second only to scantily-clad women
as a theme. Due to statistics, sometimes the scientists are also
- Where's Your
Head At - Basement Jaxx
- For a video which features neither the Aphex Twin nor Christopher
Walken, this is pretty fucking frightening. Also, if it's monkeys you
want, then, see Jamie T's Sheila; this song
can also supply all your Bob Hoskings
- Make A Move on
Me - Joey Negro
- A suprisingly lifelike portrayal of life in a research lab.
The alert reader will notice that this is by far the biggest section.
This is not because i'm a pervert, it merely refects the deplorable
tendencies of music video directors, which i in no way condone.
Actually, it's not even the biggest section. I guess i'm not as much
of a pervert as i thought. I suck.
- Biology -
- This doesn't actually contain a great deal of flesh, but i wasn't
sure what section to put it in otherwise. This video, with its
hyper-intense makeup, endless changes of painstakingly-designed and
-coordinated sets and outfits, and choreography that would make a
regimental sergeant-major weep, is a spot-on visual expression of the GA
aesthetic: homogenous perfection to the point of unreality. Like a
machine. A sexy machine. On which note, see also this terrifying machinima
version (NB robot Nicola would get it).
Exceeder - Mason vs Princess Superstar
- Yeah, no real comment about this one. But at least i'm not including
Call On Me on this list.
- Call On Me
- Eric Prydz
- I lied.
- Hustler -
Simian Mobile Disco
- Great tune, video featuring a variant of Chinese Whispers that
doesn't get played at the kind of parties i get invited to, sadly.
- Keep on
Jumpin' - Corenell feat Lisa Marie Experience
- Two teams of hot women playing football in their underwear. In mud.
In slow motion. I'm not even going to try and justify this on anything
other than pornographic grounds. Now that's what i call a score draw!
Although in the video it's not a draw.
Wildly Overrated Videos
- Da Funk -
- Seriously, what's good about this video? Nothing. And yet apparently
it's considered a classic. Bonus fact: Charles should totally get
together with the chick from the Another Chance