Just so i can find them when i need to, the complete set of Neill Cumpston reviews:
X2: X MEN KICKING YOU IN THE BALLS SO HARD THAT YOU PUKE ON YOUR BALLS AND ALSO YOUR ASS
BLADE FUCKIN' II! FUCK YEAH!
HOBBIT-MAN: THE KING RETURNS
I totally camed in my pants
MATRIX: KINGDOM OF ASS-KICKING
(almost certainly the best review ever written)
Dawning of the Dead and Passion of the Christ
CLOVERFIELD MONSTER GOES APESHIT!
Blade III: Non-Stop Fight Boner
- middle one of three reviews, so you have to skip past some bullshit to get to the review; just find for "completely nude while high on rhino tranquilizer"