Replacing the Penalty Shoot-Out

I think it's pretty clear to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that penalty shoot-outs are a really terrible way to decide tied matches in football tournaments. Extra time, in its various forms, was a valiant effort at avoiding them, but it hasn't worked. So, what are the options?

• Carrying on with golden-goal extra time until someone scores (obvious); straightforward, but could take all night, and basically gives it to the less tired team, which would be the one that did less during normal time
• Keeping count of shots that hit the posts, and using that score to break ties (from Goesta Berling at the Halfbakery, although Wikipedia's heard of it); rewards attacking play, which is good, but means you're relying on a behind-the-scenes official counting things, which is not very dramatic
• Taking a man off each team every three minutes until someone scores (my idea, although Wikipedia's heard of that too); bonkers, but it would give you an answer
• Widening the goals by ten yards every minute until someone scores (Helen's idea); seriously bonkers
• Narrowing the pitch by three yards every minute until someone scores (my idea); outrageously bonkers
• Keeping track of minutes of possession, and using that score to break ties (my idea, but i think i've heard it before);
• Giving the game to the team which earned the fewest red and yellow cards (Wikipedia again); rewards good conduct, which is a Good Thing, but won't always give an answer