Somethings

My favourite entries in e2.

• I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up
• Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
• How to defend yourself against a coconut
• Bag of Crushed Child
• The principles of nuclear weapon safety and meeting girls are remarkably similar
• How to tell a girl just wants to be friends
• How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
• Because the city is falling down
• Mathematics is beautiful (crackerfish's writeup)
• Pornography of Armageddon
• The television will not be revolutionized
• Making Rage Against The Machine Guitar noises with your mouth is the best form of political protest
• How to survive against humans
• Bureau of Zombie Management
• How to assassinate a third world despot with only a butt plug and a litre of raspberry coulis
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• Standing on a mountaintop in northern Siberia under the rapidly descending bulk of asteroid McAlmont, with a calculating expression and a baseball bat
• Am I dreaming this dream with a million other machines? (warning: self-indulgent)
• Now I ask you, is that any way for a cosmic body to disintegrate?
• Archetypes of Alien Species
• What Would Cthulhu Do?

Also, the things to consider.

Just good titles:

• I don't plan to be dismembered in the next three months
• I have Jesus in my asshole, does that count?
• Grandma's brain exploded; thereafter, things improved
• Any sufficiently advanced music is indistinguishable from MIDI
• SOY! SOY! SOY! Soy makes you strong! Strength crushes enemies! SOY!
• If you meet the Buddha on the road, ask him how far it is to the next gas station. *Then* kill him.
• No, don't set it down there; that's the Void. Just leave it on the coffee table.