Bastard Operator From Hell

'Operator' (or 'systems operator' or 'sysop') is a historical term for what we'd today call a Sys Admin; basically, a bitter, twisted individual who is responsible for the care and feeding of a computer, and in particular, for ruthlessly protecting it from its users. The Bastard Operator From Hell is a kind of Sys Admin folk legend: the meanest, most devious operator of them all, one whose cruelty to users is an inspiring example.

• http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html
• http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/30/
• dmoz:Recreation/Humor/Computer/Bastard_Operator_From_Hell

Read <http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard7.html> for a transcript of the BOFH training a junior operator. In particular, the following questions posed to the novice, with correct answers:

• Q: How do you feel about users?
• A: I hate them, I hate them! Always ringing me up wanting to get more disk or connect time, whining at me in their pathetic voices, complaining about response time. I hate them!

• Q: What do we do for users?
• A: Well, the answer is, we do nothing for users. We do things to users. It's a fine distinction, but an important one all the same.

• Q: And why do we do it?
• A: We do what we do because we enjoy it. And because we can get away with it.

• Q: What exactly do we do to users?
• A: What we do is break them. What's the point of deleting their files if they never use them? What's the point in reading someone's private correspondence if you're not going to let the user know you did it, then tell their friends or parents? Why scrap someone's backups unless they need them? You have to break the user's will so that they realise that they're the simple-minded sheep we know they are!

Ob Charlie Stross?: The marked resemblance to the actions of Mini Love? in 'Nineteen Eighty Four' is given a twist in Charlie Stross' story 'Big Brother Iron?' (working title: 'The BOFH in the land of 1984').

Surely you mean Mini Luv??

Could be. ISTR that 'Mini Love?' is the plain english term, whereas 'Mini Luv?' is New Speak?.

Category Geekery