Some shit's a bit wack, and some shit's plain crazy, but some shit is just *insane*.. Still, at least it's not only certifiable, but classifiable. We no longer classify any FineNewsSources here, but they should be borne in mind. = Artefacts Note that most or all of these insane artefacts have insane people attached, but we only classify them here. - CoralCastle - XanadU - http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Masakichi.html (which is the sculpture and which is the sculptor?) - Foodstuffs resembling objects of religious veneration -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/2484195.stm (India marvels at 'miracle chapati') -- http://gosh.ex.ac.uk/activities/societies/methsoc/FS.html (Is it a nun? Or is it a bun?) -- http://www.sugarcubes.ca/sugarcubesmono.htm Well, it's an object of religious veneration to OUSFG... -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2854189.stm Foodstuffs talking back. -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2979993.stm Holy frothy coffees! -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2997327.stm Holy Happy Meals??? -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4019295.stm The travails of the sacred piece of toast on eBay: please no "toast of the Internet" jokes... - Foodstuffs resembling celebrated fictional characters -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/world/newsid_2688000/2688107.stm (White Wizard with added cholesterol...) _Ick._ - Inedible artefacts treated as foodstuffs -- http://homepage.mac.com/aaronsteele/Personal8.html (the Baked Apple - 20 minutes in a hot oven and unbelievably, it works!) - ...And vice versa -- http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/ptech/01/13/offbeat.germany.computer.reut/index.html No small potatoes these... - Escapology by Gluttony? -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2780257.stm (Someone find me a new universe... this one's broken.) - Foodstuffs with lethal combat skills -- http://www.ninjaburger.com/fun/creativity/art/gingerbread/ gingerbread ninjas - Darwin Fish - that is to say, Jesus 'fish signs' with legs on, and the word 'D__A__R__W__I__N' contained within the outline. There is a New York Times.com article on this, if anyone can be a!!!!d to register with the site, but I can vouch from experience that they do exist, either as an atheist's protest against the whole evangelical culture in the US (see Greater__Things, below) or as a symbol of the coexistence of religion and science, prescribed by Einstein himself --TL _I have one of these stuck to the side of my old computer; it was procured by Tanaqui in the USA, i think. I stuck it on shortly before going to stay for a few weeks, with my computer, at the house of a devoutly christian family; my sense of timing is once again world-class. -- TA_ Believe it or not, there is a Cthulhu version of it on sale from the same website that sells PlushCthulhu s...--TL _the site's here: _ _I had a button with the word "gefilte" written in mock-Hebrew script inside the fish--SDN_ - Not the food, but the sales tactics: - We know the church has got into some moral hot water in the past for merchandising of pardons and holy relics, but imagine having your own Archbishop of Canterbury... -- WJR -- Rowan Bear vs PlushCthulhu - *fight*! - Wet Nikes! - The Nation States Game- thank you Matt Piatkus. - Oxfam have a warehouse, in Worcester, where they send all the second-hand books that they can't sell in their bookshops. - *We know where you live.* -A text-only version of the above web-cam - why have a text-only link on such a page? - Toast(er) Art Gallery http://www.toaster.org/art.html - *Warning: do not do this at home.* - Laptop and User sharing same fuel? -- _"Fuel cells which use chemistry to generate electrical power by breaking down substances such as hydrogen..."_ - woot! Oh, unless they mean the _molecules_... - Special experimental versions of google: ; includes haxx0rish, Swedish chef, Klingon ... Pause to appreciate the irony of using google to list these. - Peas InSpaaace! _Those damn commies and their space-vegetables!_ - Star Spangled Ice Cream. http://www.starspangledicecream.com/ Nutters. I'm not sure if this is people, ideas or artefacts, but I figured I'd let someone else work it out! ;-) --DM _It's like G&Ds for the Republican Party... a contradiction in terms. Ice cream... fascists... ice cream... fascists... oh, wait, Italy._ :~) -- WJR Now I want to emigrate, stat--SDN - http://news.com.com/2100-1041_3-999509.html Are there no depths to which the evil empires will not sink?? _The worst of it is: I__T W__A__S A H__O__A__X (see Slashdot, 13/5/2003, and ). D'oh. --TL_ Gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. -- AM _Either the iLoo is a hoax or the universe is a hoax. I have more faith in the iLoo. -- WJR_ And, frankly, it'd be much easier for a Linux advocate to quietly disable the thing than on other Windows boxes. Nothing technical - drawing a penguin on the touchpad in one's own fecal matter should do the trick. - AM _Thank you Archie, that we really didn't need to know. -- WJR_ Let's not think of the webcam possibilities here -- SDN - Sorry to break the flow, but another good reason *not* to trust anything from MicroSoft which is _just_ too good to be true: - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3028931.stm These sandals are made for worshippin'? -- WJR - *Loonie Aussie Builds Cruise Missile Shocker!* - Insane _Viking_ s!!t. - Tetris - fourteen storeys high! -- SteveWozniak liked it: - StanLee and PamelaAnderson - TogetherAtLast! - in 'Stripperella': , , ; four episodes made, more unlikely to follow. - http://www.ooblick.com/text/tomordor/ - Yahoo Maps reach the places other maps cannot! -- See also - The RezTranceVibrator - This probably goes here as well as anywhere: http://www.artofresistance.org/bush_mosaic/ - The SegwayHumanTransporter and all its works. Or not. Oh yes... - Whose idea was this?? - A (fake) dog called Norfolk: - A__T&T's anti-_anti_-spam device: - All-singing-all-dancing-Saddams, all-singing-all-dancing-Osamas! - Sort of crossover between this and Ideas/Theories. But wristwatch-sized Blue Screens of Death? It can only be MicroSoft... - We now know that somewhere in Staffordshire there is a lavatory of mass destruction... = People - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2668951.stm (naked justice!) the shirts off shoppers' backs? - http://www.rael.org - (similar) http://web.archive.org/web/20161113191625/http://greaterthings.com/ - it is fair to include this here? http://www.christiananswers.net/ --DM - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2807777.stm Wha-at?? - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2433563.stm (the legendary MeinhofBrainTerror; this is a part of a person, so it counts) - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2713577.stm Not the seller, but that someone would buy it for that price... the mind boggles and runs away. - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2714739.stm (back for one last role... unfortunately posthumously...) _That is just sick. The story, not the comment, I mean. :)-- WJR_ - http://www.jdawiseman.com/ (he's clearly fairly insane - he goes from "Various non-intuitive features of electoral systems" to "A map of JetSetWilly II, the classic ZXSpectrum platform game" without pausing for breath) _Oookay, but I suppose game theory applies in both cases - the site does seem to be the collation of an applied mathmo's career --TL_ - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2718389.stm I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren't there... and clambering about on the furniture. Loons! -- WJR _Not entirely unlike LeParkour._ - http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/02/04/offbeat.cialis.reut/index.html (Pity this poor chap, and think how many others there must be with branded surnames...) - Anatomical fetishists (do N__O__T show this to Tim): http://www.cameltoe.org/ - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2739211.stm All right, stand up the person who showed him _Passport to Pimlico_! -- WJR - It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing... oh yeah... ! - The Force is with us (mind that there lightsabre...): - Hardly a shining example of Eurocracy: - Dial 666 for Satan...err, not quite. -This is worse than insane, it's plain dumb. Especially the 'up to a year in prison' bit... - Meanwhile, some wicked satire (as recommended by G2): - Now _this_ is what I call Insane S!!t. -David Icke - Poohsticks for the next Olympic sport! - Von Daniken Land (T__M)! - A rather _extreme_ reaction to the recent smoking ban: - The Ministry for the Prevention of Absurdity? How meta can you get? - Speaking of which: - _Hijol_ (beam me up), Scotty: - A telephone for talking to God? Erm, no - Arm-wrestling Freud: - The man being sued by Mc__Donalds for insulting their food: - Double-Plus-Ungood! - Inspector Sands is in the house! - Preacher asks for 'sign', God sets fire to church. (!) -- On which note: - Is it a bird, a plane or some madman in a suit? No, it's a guardian angle-grinder! - From white witch to Management Consultant. Which is the more demented profession? - speaks for itself. - (thanks Atrios): Super-Gran? - Don Rumsfeld gets his just deserts: - Long ago in a galaxy far away: - There are few occasions on which SF fans can, with a clear conscience, look at the wackinesses of others and say "How sad." AmericaLand (apologies, SDN and TL) provides most of these. = Animal Madness We should probably file this under InsaneAnimalShit. - http://www.scarysquirrel.org/page1.html - Not dissimilar: the Badger From Hell - and: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3166010.stm - http://www.coinbird.com/ - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2541761.stm (InsaneAnimalPoetryShit) - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/2509455.stm (plastic ducks, but _ducks nonetheless_) - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2696725.stm (another *very good* reason to avoid eating cheese, LP) _"Transgenic"?_ As the Third Doctor (obDoctorWho) might put it, "What a pretty euphemism." -- WJR - http://www.monkeyheaven.com/ ('Monkey Swallows The Universe' {ep 4, ser 1}??? Insanity...) - Basketball with donkeys, in California: witnessed on 's 'in pictures' page - a charity sport for Farmers of America wherein each human basketballer had to keep hold of the animal's reins at all times, and get on the donkey's back in order to shoot... very odd. --TL - Meow! - Love is in the air... _Hell Hath no Fury like an Ostrich Scorned_ - And you are the bomb-men, and I Am The Walrus, googoo g'joob... (not quite) What's more worrying is the idea of Operation Kuwaiti Fried Chicken... I wonder how much of this is made up... Still, the Reg treated it with their usual humour: http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/29707.html - Prophetic carp?? I kid you not: - Say 'aah'. - Another contender for the great tortoise race? - The HelloKittyVibrator - The next James Baa-nd?? - Aww! - Mice InSpaaace, according to the Telegraph (or Slashdot). = Ideas, Theories, &c - PapaSmurfIsACommunist - The whole continuing approach of the virtual world to the real world (as evidenced by ) is disturbing, if not really insane - That everyone's out to get Andrew Malcolm . At least, that's what he's been telling us... paranoia or truth?? _Apparently he is getting his revenge: he proposes to stand for the Chancellorship of the University. Now that's insane..._ - That the End of the World Is Nigh (according to particular evangelicals...) What's particularly insane is how many people are being sucked in by this nonsense - The possibility of a new generation of mobile phones designed to send 'touch'. _"Hello, I'm on the train!"_ *rattle bump thud explosion* _Personally, I think that will have to wait until such time as they get NeuralRelayComputing sorted out --TL_ Well, such racket normally transmits quite well by the customary audio medium of 'phones anyway. NeuralRelayComputing 'phones would be a trifle scary- much like a technological version of the 'newsgroups by telepathic gestalt' system. (Yay for psychic-flame wars!) -- WJR - The London Riot Re-enactment Society: ((Sealed Knot with Molotov cocktails on the side, perhaps?) - The American social security department is really the Antichrist in disguise: knowing the number of times my family has been asked for the bloody social security number since moving Stateside (apart from Dad, none of us can get one till we acquire 'Resident Alien' status, boom boom), not quite so insane --TL. - HookingEvilDictatorsToTheMatrix --TL _Thereby risking the eventual return of Saddam Hussein... with Wire__Fu fighting skills. Ulp. -- WJR_ - That footie boots are made from kangaroo skin: You'll laugh. You'll boggle. You may even end up booing Beckham... - http://www.aquamega.biz/products/ShockerBottle/special030203.htm (I thought they gave up on the idea of the existence of the ether moons ago...!! --TL) - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/2784227.stm Synthetic trees for photosynthesis? All right, maybe this could have its uses in urban areas, but I can't help feeling that *_not cutting down the real ones in the first place_* would be a more sensible, long term solution. --WJR - MetricTime - Swatch Time: _The more I read that article the more confusing it got... --TL_ - According to , a human hand is *ten thousand times more powerful than the sun*, at least once you've adjusted for their relative mass. - The International Flat Earth Society : - That _Thomas the Tank Engine_ is too frightening for children: Well, that's one psychologist with too much time on his hands... - So, France gets called a nation of _"Cheese-eating Surrender Monkeys"_, and the Daleks get a day in their honour? Nice to know the Republicans in the USA have got their diplomatic priorities straight: - I have no comment to make. - CircleLineParty! - Doppelgangers of mass destruction...? - It's the Rapture! Don't bother to recycle anything!! (sheesh) - This courtesy of someone from the DocSoc: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/3021255.stm No, please don't do that to my planet. -- WJR - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1124312.stm Great Scott, TheTransformers. -- WJR - Tumbleweed flies by: - The vital importance of _not_ being David Nelson: - Not just that anyone might buy stuff off of the US military, but that the latter was willing to flog it to any old Tom, Dick or Osama: - Thank goodness the perpetrators of this bit of lunacy have now calmed down (the plaintiffs, that is): - Good God, TheMatrix. Almost. --TL - Mrs Jesus?? - WorldToiletDay (Wed 19 Nov 2003)! - Not so much the crime as the perpetrator - Gor lives? - Scattered showers of strikeouts, innings expected later: (sorry, this is a slightly TL joke)